In this episode, Shamina talks about the importance of becoming the creator of your reality and finding who and what you truly desire in life.
Head over to The Quantum Woman Facebook group to join our community of amazing women like you.
Full Transcript Below
Accessing the Quantum Through Emotional-Self Mastery is an 8-week life-changing experience where you will become the most badass amazing next-level version of yourself by learning how to become the master of your emotions and not it over you. You will learn how to take action toward:
• Mastering your emotions, overhauling your mindset, up-level your life, and accessing the most amazing next-level version of yourself
• Claim your wealth in all aspects of your life
• Step into your power to receive more freely from the Universe
Find Shamina on: Facebook | Instagram | TikTok | YouTube | Twitter
Podcast Episode 8 Transcript:
[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Quantum Woman. I’m your host, Shamina Taylor. And in this episode, um, We’re gonna talk about who and what you want in your life. This actually was some, uh, something that one of our listeners, um, wanted me to talk about. So, who and what you want in your life. I feel like we are the creator of Re Our Reality, so we are the creators of our reality.
I, I do believe that. I’ll say that. You’ll hear me say that over and over again. If you can take full responsibility. The things that are happening in your life, that means that you can be the person that gets to be the solution person. You get to create what you want. If you feel like you don’t have power and things are happening on the outside of you, well then guess what?
You don’t have the power to have things happen on the inside. Um, who and what you want on your life are. A decision. It comes down to a decision. You know, if there’s people in your life [00:01:00] right now that you aren’t serving you or not bringing you to a place where you have pure enjoyment for having them there, I, I would ask yourself and, you know, why are they there?
Why, what, what is really keeping them in your life, you know? This year, 2022, I have, you know, once again gone through a shift of the type of clients that I wanna work with. Um, the type of friendships that I want in my life, uh, the type of family I want in my life. Uh, they say you can pick your friends, you can’t pick your family, right?
But, um, I think when you raise your standards of what you’ll tolerate in your life and what you’ll allow, You change your frequency about what you’re gonna admit. So this year was the breaking of toxic patterns for me. Like 2002 is gonna go down as the year that I finally broke that cycle. And I really healed through, um, my past traumas and P T S D and hypervigilance, everything that was [00:02:00] around toxic relationships and.
You know, I remember going to seek out practitioners and they would say, Shamina, you’re so amazing. Like, why are you putting up with this? Or like, why are you allowing this client in your life? Why are you allowing this men, you know, da da da da. You don’t need any more mentors. You’re like so amazing.
You are the mentor. You know, I remember working with a wizard and he’s like, yeah, I worked, done. You surpassed me. And this guy was straight up wizard and he’s freaking phenomenal. And, um,
When, when you’re in a cycle, sometimes you allow people that don’t serve you like that are, I guess what I’m saying is that they’re at half mass in your life. You know, they’re not all the way supporting you. They’re not there to, um, see you when all the way they’re there. Maybe when you’re kind of winning or when you’re down, you know there’s people in your life that are gonna be.
I don’t like this word so much, [00:03:00] but like energy of empires, they call ’em, or people that are just gonna freeload off of your emotions. And it’s your responsibility. And it’s my responsibility to be like, okay, why am I in this situation again? So it’s somebody that you don’t feel like you want anymore. And I’m telling you, when I had to end my marriage, man, that was.
That was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life because, you know, not everything was bad. Like, I can’t say that, you know, my ex-husband is a good man in a lot of ways. It’s just, I, I lost myself in that marriage and I was not, um, Who I am today. And I don’t know if we, if I stayed there, I would become her.
So it was a really hard decision choosing myself outta that situation. I just knew that it, it wasn’t a situation where I was growing anymore and I was only surviving. And I was sustaining and it wasn’t, uh, a place of growth. And I, I, my, my [00:04:00] soul was calling me to grow cuz there was something bigger for me to do.
And looking back at the last 10 years of what’s transpired since the first time that I, you know, separated from him. It was a really hard decision to have that relationship end and um, some of them were really, And some of them are quite easy and you might still miss that person when you still let them go.
Doesn’t mean you stop loving them. You know, there’s some friendships that have left my life and I still have lots of emotions for these people. I, you know, sometimes wanna go pick up the phone and call ’em, especially if I’ve seen something and then I remember, no, no, no. Like, you know, we’re, we’re. That person is not, wasn’t serving you anymore.
I dunno if it’s a Gemini thing or the way I’m wired, but sometimes I just forget things that have happened and I’m like, oh yeah, I would love to just pick up. And then I’m like, no, I’ll get this gut feeling in me like that they weren’t, they weren’t good for you. I notice that when I’m elevating and I’m healing through something and I’m becoming a greater version of [00:05:00] myself, what happens is, There’s gonna be people that grow with me, and there’s gonna be people that grow away from me.
And, and it’s like the people that grow with me is easy because they’re coming with me. But the people that grow away from me, that’s the hardest thing because you want everybody to come with you. I remember the first time I really witnessed this on a really grand scale was in one of my masterminds, uh, a period of change in growth.
I saw myself just moving at lightning speed. I was moving faster, I was taking action and. The women that were there kind of from the beginning with me, only a few of them came with me, and the rest were just like dropping off like a slides. And it was really hard for me because, you know, I wanted everybody to come.
I wanted everybody to have this success. I wanted everybody, but not everybody was able to or was wired the way I was or I. Was like me. So I realized I had to change my messaging. I had to change who I was speaking to. I couldn’t call people in that at that level where I was before because they wouldn’t move as fast as I did.
And then for a period of time, I had called in some really, really, really powerful women, and a few [00:06:00] came in that I thought were powerful and that weren’t as powerful, and so they weren’t ready for this change. And you’ll see as soon as you. Like rock it up. The, there’s people that will jump and, and go with you cuz they’re like, I, she’s not leaving me behind, you know?
Um, I have a client that’s been in all my programs and she’s like, you’re not going anywhere. I’m going with you. You know? Um, but. There’s some that will get triggered as how fast you’re going, and then they’ll feel like, well, she’s leaving me behind. And then a lot of abandonment will come up, or a lot of the sister ones will come up and they’ll feel like betrayed because somebody is outgrowing them.
And it’ll turn around and they’ll think like, well, I’m outgrowing you. But really, you know, it’s like this process is really hard. You know, certain friendships, sometimes, you know, I’ve got a, a new philosophy of friendships. Cuz us usually before it would be like, well, you know, I love having people in my life that I just, that are easy and are fun and that, you know, [00:07:00] have my back and that I really enjoy.
But I found when I’ve gotten to this level of where I’m at right now, I need super powerful women that are at. My level or even above me because it is, it is incredibly hard to be at this place. Um, even just going out for dinner, you know, and knowing that someone’s still struggling to pay a bill and that you could buy the bill all the time, but you shouldn’t be always the one that’s paying the bill.
When you have a friendship like that, there should be a give and take, right. And. I realize I’m just giving, that’s giving you a small example, but just the goals, like the mindset, the conversations, they won’t be at the level that you need. And when you’re in this growth game, you’re moving so quickly.
Sometimes those high school friends or friends you’ve had for 10 or 15 years or 20 years, you know, they’ll still be great to meet up with for like, you know, the holidays or whatnot, to have a chit chat, but they may not be people that’s in your everyday life. , maybe they’ll be there and they can cheer you on, but they’re not gonna be the people that are gonna be like, you know, behind you going go like, come on.
Or [00:08:00] inspiring you because she’s moving and you wanna move with her. I feel like when you’re at this level, you need people in your life, they’re gonna inspire you to change. They’re gonna, you know, um, they’re gonna, uh, I don’t wanna say trigger, but they’re gonna like, They’re gonna make you step it up because just because of who they are and what they’re doing, you know, there’s going to, it’s not that you’re in competition with them, but you’re gonna be like, okay, let’s all go.
You know? And you want someone that’s gonna be able to cheer you on without, like, that, um, that jealousy of what happens when, you know, uh, certain women are expanding and you. I don’t ever want anybody to feel like that. That’s why I love my mastermind because every woman in there, I’m cheering her on, like, her success is my success.
Like, I want her to do better than me. I want her to supersede whatever she’s coming in to do. Because is because that means what I’m doing works. You know? When I see a woman going beyond, beyond, beyond, I’m like, okay, this is great. You know? [00:09:00] I, um, and it, it sometimes you. You can’t be triggered as a mentor when, you know, um, I’ve seen it happen where people are like, whoa.
Like she’s, she’s really doing it. And then my mentor would go and step it up too. Um, I remember this happened with a guy once and he was like, wow, she’s just killing the game. Like, and he went and did it too. So you just don’t know who you’ll motivate. Um, but being in, uh, being yourself and attracting that, I feel like.
There has to be a conscious, um, decision about who you want in your life. I don’t wanna date men that aren’t successful, that aren’t smart, that aren’t, um, you know, Making his own cash. Like he’s, you know, he’s got his own thing going on. You know, a couple of my guy friends are like, look, not everybody’s gonna be a multimillionaire like you, but maybe he’ll be doing great.
And I’m like, what? Why can’t I have. Dude, that’s a multimillionaire too. Like, hello. [00:10:00] You know, why would I have to sacrifice that? But, you know, I’m still, I’m still staying with the qualities that I want in a man. Not necessarily the money, cuz just cuz a man’s making money doesn’t mean he’s going to be, you know, the right one for me.
There’s gotta be all the other qualities too, but, I think you have to make a conscious decision. You have to describe the type of people that you want. You have to be intentional, and you have to be intentional of who’s not allowed in your life. Who are you not going to lay down with? Who are you not going to spend time with?
Because as you’re spending time with people, you’re exchanging energy. Whatever thoughts are in them, whatever their frequency is, whatever they’re admitting that’s coming towards you, right? And so it’s a conscious decision about what exchange of energy you’re having with this person. and um, you know, certain family members we can’t get rid of and some we can.
Um, but you know, who do you wanna keep at a minimum and an arm’s length? Cuz you’re allowed to, you know, there’s no rule that you have to have them all the way in anymore, cuz say they’re not gonna be one of your biggest supporters. So why would you have them around in your life [00:11:00] if they’re gonna be someone that’s gonna be knocking your success or always saying things to make you feel like shit?
Because is that who you really want in your life? Somebody who’s making you feel bad. I mean, I had that person in my life for a long time and you know, my whole family, we just got rid of that person because they were not our biggest supporters or biggest fans. They would, you know, sometimes you would do something good and it’d be like, oh, that’s great.
But then a backhanded comment would come around afterwards and it was like, oh, well here’s my cornflakes. You can just be right dearly in them and just forget the, you know, other stuff. And, um, that’s no bueno, right. Yeah, it’s, it’s an intentional thing and I feel like if you have people in your life that are causing you grief and havoc, what’s your.
Because you haven’t, you haven’t set up good boundaries. You have not laid out what you really want. You’ve allowed people in, I, like I said, this is my fault when I was doing this, and the more that you say no to the people that you don’t want in your life, all of a sudden the people [00:12:00] that you really do desire because you’re like, mm-hmm.
No to that start coming in, or different people come in to fill different parts. Of your soul and make you feel a certain way, and all of a sudden your frequency goes up, your vibration goes up. Here’s dangers go up. And now you’re like, oh, remember when I would’ve allowed that behavior before? Like that would never happen.
Now remember when, like that type of person would come in, that would never happen. Now remember, I used to work with that type of client. That would never happen. Now, you know, remember I used to attract that type of mentor. That would never happen. Now, you know, it’s just. It, everything changes. And when you start to change, ironically, sometimes even the family members that irritate the shit outta you, they start to change too, right?
Um, you know, some women are like, well, how about my husband or my significant other? They’re so negative, and how do I get rid? I don’t, I don’t wanna get rid of him. I really love him. Okay? You can’t change them. So to stop pushing the books up their nose and telling them all the things that you’re listening to, or getting ’em to listen to this episode, or putting it on like 10 while you’re cleaning and having them listen what [00:13:00] you can.
I start being you and being more in your energy and see if they shift. Because sometimes it takes people feeling you in a different way for their frequency to shift around too. I do believe that’s how good energy gets spread. So Yeah, and they’re gonna have to do their own work too. Right. And sometimes when people see you changing, they wanna change too, or they wanna judge you.
But the ones that wanna change and come with you, they will. And the ones that don’t, well, I love Vista baby. Bye-bye. I’ll see you later. Uh, I got enough time for that. You know, it’s crazy because people take it personally. They take it personally. When you start growing, they start thinking, oh, she’s too good for this.
She’s too good for me. And I tell you as I’ve gotten to. A higher level of success. I realized the importance of really cultivating good friendships and being there. And it requires me picking up the phone. It [00:14:00] requires me texting people. It requires me also being that person to invite that person in my life.
And not always waiting for someone to invite me, but making plans with them, checking in on them. Um, just because your friends are strong doesn’t mean they don’t wanna hear from you. Uh, it’s a whole nother episode, but, Who you have in your life right now is gonna come down to a decision and a choice. And it might not be a permanent decision, but it could be a temporary one.
It could be one that you need clarity on. So sometimes if people are wreaking havoc in your life, maybe you need to put them on pause, take a break, go assess. See how you feel. See why you still have ’em there. See why you, you know, why you felt better when they weren’t. Um, and see how you can maybe navigate them in the future if you don’t wanna totally move them aside.
And maybe cutting people out too quickly might not be the gr greatest idea, but sometimes. That has to happen. And sometimes you’ve been allowing and lingering relationships in your life too long and making excuses for people’s behavior. And you’ve had people in your life like that because they [00:15:00] were filling a need, a traumatic part of yourself, or some part of you that was just needing, you know, that wounded little self of yours was attracting another little playmate to play with.
And perhaps that was time to cut the cords on that one. So, uh, cutting the cord is one of the greatest, uh, spiritual practices that I’ve, I’ve, I’ve really done. And it is, uh, pretty powerful. I have quite a few of them in my, my, um, programs, and it’s something that I, um, uh, I practice and especially around full moons and whatnot.
Speaking of which, if you aren’t in the Conscious Collective membership, it’s a year long membership that I have. It’s a really low investment, but we do a lot of meditations a month, training a month, um, you know, my high tickets, multiple five figures, but this is a very low investment. Go check on my website, go get the information.
It’s a conscious, collective membership. I hope you enjoyed this, uh, episode. I talk about things in a different way. You know, people are like, just get the negativity out of your life. But [00:16:00] sometimes we are the negativity, you know, because we’re allowing it or we’re, we’re having people around because they’re serving a purpose for us.
So we gotta check in why that person was there in the first place. You know, I’m always gonna lead you down Accountability road. It’s always gonna be like, well, why’d you allow that? And looking back, even the type of clients, why did I let that client through? Eh, even when they had the red flag. Eh, why’d I let that guy through?
Even though like it was Red Flag Central. Right. Uh, it’s me. It’s back to me. And why’d I let that, you know, parent talk to me that way? That that neighbor or that person, that friend, why don’t I speak up, eh, back to me. You know? And we get stronger the more that we use our voice. We realize where we are in our power.
And sometimes, you know, uh, it is our fault and, uh, we have to take accountability for that. So, , I hope you enjoy this. If you know that somebody would love to hear this, and maybe you do need to put this on 10 and play it somewhere, and so somebody else can listen to it and you can just seep into their subconscious and be like, Hmm.
Maybe they’ll [00:17:00] shift. I don’t know. But um, or maybe you’re just gonna send it to a friend and be like, Hey girl, listen to this. Or Guy, if you’re listening, um, Go download my wealth meditation. It’s free. Uh, I can start bringing in some cash for you. And I’ve got a quiz out there that you could probably take and it’ll really help you set up if you wanna work with me further.
I’m Shamina Taylor, and thank you for spending this time with me. And if you enjoyed this, leave me a review and send me some feedback. Talk to you soon. Bye for now.